From:

North of Jewfish Creek

 

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

This entire newsletter is going to consist of an ad I wrote for a client some time ago. I think reading it will prove very instructive to you. After you read it, I would like you to email me and tell me what you think about the ad... and... how you think it performed. By the way, this ad appeared twice as a full-page advertisement in Investors' Business Daily.

 

 

WARNING: Do Not Read This

Unless You Are Already Rich!

If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea... and then... generate over $51,000,000 in sales in just one year... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever read.

Here is why: There's a guy in California named Carl Palmer who, until recently, was very wealthy and very bored. He got rich (the first time) by starting a company in 1970 which he sold out to Coca-Cola just three years later in 1973. As part of the deal, he had to sign a "non-compete" agreement with a duration of five years. After that five years ended, he went back in business and built up another company which was soon acquired by the giant AMF Corporation. After that, Carl developed Shackley's reverse osmosis home water filtration system... and... in the first year... they did $51 million in sales with that product. And so on. You get the idea. What this guy does is, he comes up with enormously valuable inventions, starts a company to sell those inventions... and soon... he goes nuts with all the hassles of running a business... and so... he sells out (at a huge profit) to some giant corporation that has the resources and the clout to exploit the living daylights out of whatever it is he has invented. But now, he has outdone himself. Now, at the request of the Seychelle Technologies, Inc., he has invented something that is needed by every human being in the world... and...

This Invention Is Almost

Certain To Generate Billions In Sales!

Here's how he came up with his latest invention. He's got a horse ranch somewhere near Pomona, California and one day he was out riding one of his horses... and... he was bored to tears! You see, this guy has a mind that just won't quit. So, he gets to wondering: "What would be the world's best product to develop? Is there anything that every human being on earth must have?"Yes, there is. It's called water. It's tasteless, odorless, colorless and calorie-free... but... it is vital to all life on earth. It doesn't matter if you are a dog, a cat, a human being, an elephant or a mere microbe, water is essential. And there is no substitute. There are more than five billion people on this planet and every single one of those people needs about 2-1/2 quarts of water... every day... to keep healthy and stay alive.

No water, no life.

But, so what? There's more water on earth than there is earth, right? Yes, that's true. However, 97% of all that water is sea water. And sea water, of course, is just chock full of salt. Anyone who drinks only sea water will soon die of thirst and dehydration as that person's body tries desperately to flush out all that excess salt. Of course, we humans can use sea water... if... we remove the salt. But, that is very expensive! Sea water is not a good choice for agriculture or industry either. It kills most crops and literally (and very quickly) rusts out most machinery. In truth, only a mere 3% of the world's water is fresh, not salty. But, almost all of that fresh water is locked up in glaciers and ice caps or is deep underground. Which means...

Only A Measly 1% Of All The Water

On This Planet Is Easily Accessible To Mankind!

And, much of that water is so polluted it is killing thousands upon thousands of people every day... plus... it is making millions of us horribly sick. Do you own a house? If so, go down into your basement with a hacksaw and cut off about an inch of one of your water pipes. Then, get yourself a strong flashlight and take a careful look at the inside of that water pipe. Guess what? Chances are, what you are looking at is NOT going to be pretty. Rust... Sediment... Lead... Dirt... Little flecks of animate matter such as rodent feces... Chlorine... Mercury... and... all sorts of other junk that is really bad news when you put it into your body. Think about what this means: Even if the city where you live does a perfect job (it doesn't; it doesn't even come close) of purifying your water supply...

Your Water, After Traveling Through Several Miles Of Pipes, Is Still Likely To Have Lots Of Horrible Stuff In It

When It Comes Out Of Your Faucet!

But, very likely, your city simply can't do a perfect job of cleaning up your water supply. The problem is just too overwhelming. So, what they do is, they dump chlorine in the water! Which, in a way, is good... because... chlorine kills a lot of those nasty, disease-causing bugs in the water. But hey, you know why it is able to kill all those bugs? It's very simple...

It's Because Chlorine Is Poison!

That's why most U.S. citizens have fewer cavities in their teeth these days: It's because the chlorine in our drinking water kills those little organic microbes that eat away at the enamel on our teeth. However, using a poison like chlorine to kill the "bad guy" microbes is sort of like undergoing chemotherapy when you have cancer. In other words, not only do the cancer cells get zapped; many of your non-cancerous cells also get zapped... and often... your hair falls out, you get extremely tired and your zest for life is considerably diminished. Speaking of cancer, there are five different articles in certified publications from the EPA, Massachusetts General Hospital, University of Alabama, University of Georgia, and the University of Florida that all prove...

Drinking Chlorinated Water Increases Your Chances Of

Dying From Cancer By 44%!

Plus, it has all kinds of other bad (horribly bad) effects on your health. But wait! Don't go getting angry at your municipal water company. They are very likely doing the best job they can considering the huge problems they are trying to solve. Yes, it's true: Chlorine is bad for you. But, the "bad guys" that would otherwise still be alive in our water supply... if... it wasn't chlorinated... is truly the stuff of which nightmares are made.When you start talking about E-coli, omoebic cysts, cryptosporidium, giordia and so on, you are talking about "biological villains" that cause...

Health Problems You Don't Even Want To Know About!

Again, chlorine is like chemotherapy: It's the lesser of two evils. In truth, any way you look at it, it's still a terrible situation. So, what's the answer? Well, millions of Americans now have water filtration devices in their homes... and... that does solve part of the problem. However, when Carl Palmer was doing his research, he discovered 50% to 60% of all the water we drink in our lifetime...

Is Water We Drink Away From Home!

It's no wonder the bottled water industry is such a big business. How big is it? I'm glad you asked. Just in the United States alone, the annual sales volume of bottled water... is more... than... 4.2 billion dollars! But, there's a couple of problems with bottled water: (1) First, there are about 350 different brands and not all of them are selling good water. Some of it is as bad as plain old ordinary tap water. Some of it is worse. In fact, some of it is ordinary tap water. What a racket: Fill a plastic bottle with water from a faucet... and then... sell it at a 2,000% markup! (2) Secondly, whether it's good or bad, all bottled water is expensive. For example, in Miami Beach at a local convenience store, an 11-ounce bottle of Perrier sells for $1.40. If you bother to do the math, you'll discover this works out to $16.29 per gallon. Actually, because Miami Beach is a resort area and Perrier is one of the more costlier brands of bottled water, this per gallon price is higher than average. However, even in non-resort areas, the usual average price for bottled water is still very high, like maybe $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon. Plus, almost every American who buys bottled water buys a lot of it. I mean really a lot! Let's face it: You need water every day. And, if you exercise, you need even more than other people. That's why many health-conscious Americans...

Spend More Than $1,600 Per Year

Just On Bottled Water!

But now, let's talk about something truly exciting. Imagine you go to a store and you buy yourself a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or any other brand of bottled water. Then, you drink the water from that bottle... but... instead of throwing the bottle away and going to the store to get another one... you fill up that empty bottle with water from your faucet... or... from a lake... or... from a river... or... even from a public swimming pool! Next, you put the cap back on the bottle... and... because that cap has an incredibly effective filter on the bottom of it, the water that now comes out of the bottle will be equal to... or better (in taste and purity) than the water you originally purchased. Only... you didn't have to buy it again! Which means, instead of paying $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon for bottled water (that is NOT even guaranteed to be pure) you end up getting water that IS guaranteed pure for mere pennies per gallon. Plus, you don't have to run back to the store whenever you need more water. Plus, you can take your bottle with its new, space-age, magic filter bottle cap... anywhere you go... even Mexico... and you will always have an endless supply of the purest water you can drink. Sounds like a dream, doesn't it? Well, because of what Carl Palmer has developed for Seychelle Technologies, it is now a dream come true. You see, Carl is the inventor of the reverse osmosis water filtration system which is what he sold to Coca-Cola, AMF and Shakley. But, that's what Carl invented 27 years ago. It's still a very effective water filtration system and it's still in widespread use. However, the water filtration system Carl has now invented exclusively for Seychelle Technologies... is... leap years ahead... of any other system on the market... including... the one he personally invented 27 years ago. One of the reasons Carl was able to create this amazing new filter is, he owns the world distribution rights to something called "sorbent media"... which... it turns out... is very likely to be the best water filtration material on this planet. One of the reasons is, it has a "pore size" of only two microns (many water filters have a pore size of 50 to 100 microns) which means that a much higher percentage of the toxic "bad guys" can't get through the filter. Plus, this material is so thin, if you would unravel the amount of it compressed into this tiny, new, super-effective filter...

It Would Cover A Surface Area

Of 15,000 Square Feet!

This filter also has ionic properties... which means... it has the ability to chemically bond to volatile organic compounds often found in polluted water. In other words, it just reaches out and grabs them (they're another breed of disgusting "toxic villains") and holds them to the surface of the filter. The bottom-line: Water passed through this filter is equal to... or even better... than the water found in any bottled water you can buy anywhere in the world. The second bottom-line: Because of the unique materials used to create this filter, it can be miniaturized to the size of a walnut and still purify an enormous amount of water. So, what Seychelle Technologies now has ready to market is not water, it's a water bottle that purifies water. It's plastic. About the same size as a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or what have you... but... the difference is... the cap that goes on the bottle has an amazing ionic microfiltration device (it's a major trade secret) attached to the bottom of it... and... a small plastic straw going up through the top of the cap. Fill the bottle with water (from almost any source), screw on the cap... and then... you can sip through the straw... and drink safe water from any location on earth! This space-age water bottle retails for $29.95 and it will purify so much water...

You Can Refill It

More Than 1,000 Times!

To get that same amount of pure water (assuming it is pure) by purchasing bottled water, you would have to spend approximately $1,700.00! Plus, you'd have to keep going back to the store over and over. This invention saves lives! It has the potential of eradicating a significant percentage of human health problems. It is now being introduced on an emergency basis in Mexico, Argentina, China, Malaysia, Korea, India, and 11 other countries... and... some very private market research indicates that in 1998...

This Product Is Literally

Going To Swamp The U.S. Market!

Carl Palmer is extremely passionate about this invention.... because... as stated earlier... it can save lives and prevent an enormous amount of human misery. That's why he has chosen to work exclusively with Seychelle Technologies who... in turn... have agreed not to become involved with any other projects... so... they can focus 100% on the production and marketing of this one item! Seychelle Technologies (located at 1920 Main Street, Suite 1020, Irvine, California 92614) has enormous growth potential. They are passionately committed to producing and marketing Carl Palmer's amazing new invention... as fast... as their financing will allow them to expand! If you would like to have more information on this exciting company, you are welcome to call and leave your name and address with one of the secretaries at Seychelle Technologies.When you do that, you will be sent immediately (and free of charge) a video tape that features Carl Palmer explaining his invention... and... another man, DuSean Berkich (CEO of Seychelle Technologies) giving an overview of the company and its plans for expansion. Here's the number:

1-800-000-0000

 

AWeber Web Form Generator 3.0

Click here to discover the genius psychology Gary Halbert used in this ad to make it so incredibly successful.

The ad break down is given by Gary Halbert himself.

 

 

 

 

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

 

P.S. Remember, email me and tell me what you think about the ad... and... how you think it performed.

 

Peace.

 

 

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To Be On My Newsletter
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Copyright © 2005 Halbert Publishing Inc.  All Rights Reserved.

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

Last week I posted a newsletter on this website which I titled simply "Water". That newsletter consisted almost entirely of an ad I wrote several years ago.

The newsletter described how a genius named Carl Palmer had made himself wealthy several times and how he was prone to chronic boredom unless he was working on an exciting project. The ad also told about his creation of a marvelous new product which could save millions of lives and was needed by virtually every human being on this planet.

In that newsletter, I told my readers the ad had ran twice as a full-page in Investors' Business Daily.

Then I asked my readers to email me their comments about the ad and how well they thought the ad did.

I have never before had such a high percentage of my readers make such  idiotic guesses about how well they thought an ad performed. The people who made truly insane guesses were those who worked in financial services... and sadly... those people who identified themselves as copywriters and/or direct response marketers.

The more analytical the response, the further it was from the truth of how the ad performed and why.

However, all is not lost. A handful of my most astute readers (just a tiny handful) got it exactly right.

Listen up: The ad is very confusing and deceiving to people with a first-rate marketing mind. You pretty much have to have a world-class marketing mind to understand the genius of that ad.

First, I will tell you how well the ad worked. It attracted an enormous number of qualified investors who, by my estimate, were willing to pony up in the neighborhood of $400,000,000 to participate in this project.

That ad is so Machiavellian, I believe not even 1 out of 1,000 readers will be able to understand its almost unbelievable power. This would truly be a candidate for the most powerful space ad ever written.

And sadly, I suspect none of you... even after you read that ad ten times... will ever have a clue of WHY it's so powerful.

Not only that, there is a "back story" concerning the ad. It involves very curious twists and turns... and... some of the most bizarre, slickest,  intelligent and corrupt people in the annals of American business.

I bet you would like me to lead you by the hand exactly through every step of the ad and explain what I was doing as I wrote every sentence. I bet you would also love to read the "rest of the story" about that ad.

I've been thinking about revealing all this for almost eight years. I still am not 100% certain I want to tell you all the secrets about the ad and the back story that goes with it.

But I've made myself a deal.

Now all of you know the answer as to how well the ad performed. None of you now have any excuse for emailing me and pontificating idiotic reasons why the ad did not work.

Here's what I want you to do: I want you to email me immediately with your best guess as to WHY the ad did work... and... performed so outstandingly it was almost unbelievable.

If enough of my readers (and by "enough" I mean almost ALL of them) email me their guesses about why this ad worked so well... I will write another newsletter this week and give you ALL of the answers in minute detail. But let me tell you something you better believe. This is me, Gary Halbert writing, and I'm not fooling around. If I don't get an ENORMOUS amount of emails from my readers guessing why the ad worked so well... and... if I don't get those email responses almost immediately, I'm not going to tell you the answers! I will take the secrets to my grave and all of you can go piss up a rope making absurd guesses about the ad for the rest of your pathetic lives.

Look, I don't mind you are all shitweasels. In fact, as the Alpha Shitweasel, I'm rather proud of that. However, I have no patience whatsoever with LAZY-MINDED shitweasels. So, if you are too mentally lethargic to make an immediate guess as to why the ad worked... don't send me an email. If there are enough of you who don't email me... none of you will ever know.

You know why from time to time I write a "kick-the-anthill" newsletter like this?

I do it for the same reason a dog licks his balls. It's because I can.

 

Sincerely,

 
 

Gary C. Halbert

"Supreme Master of Politically
Correct Communications"

P.S. If you're going to reply, send your email here.

P.P.S. If you're not going to reply, why don't you just stop reading this newsletter altogether and take up bowling?

Peace. 

CLICK HERE TO INSTANTY READ GARY'S BREAKDOWN OF THE WATER AD

 

 

 

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Copyright © 2005 Halbert Publishing Inc.  All Rights Reserved.

 

The Gary Halbert Letter

 

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber

Here at long last, is the complete story of the "water ad". I think you're going to find it was worth waiting for.

It all began when a friend of mine from Colorado called me. He told me about this remarkable new invention (the water bottle featured in the ad) and how a company called "Seychelle Technologies" was going to "go public" to raise a lot of money so they could sell this remarkable invention all over the world. He said Seychelle Technologies was in the formative stage and they needed someone to help them with publicity and marketing.

Then this friend arranged a telephone meeting between the CEO (DuSean Berkich) and myself. He and I hit it off on the phone and I agreed to go to Irvine, California and take on the job of promoting this product. They paid me a very generous weekly salary, a new car to drive, and a furnished apartment to live in while I was in California.

There's a lot more to this story than just the writing of the ad. But, I'm going to start with that part of it (the writing).

First of all, you need to know what I was trying to accomplish with that ad.

As you may or may not know, when a company wants to "go public" there is a 45-day "quiet period" they must obey after they have made their initial filing to go public with the Securities and Exchange Commission. In other words, they cannot send out press releases or hype their company in any way during this 45-day "quiet period". I think the rules concerning the quiet period may have changed over the years. I don't know exactly what they are now because I haven't kept current with that.

However, at that period in time, Seychelle Technologies had not filed with the SEC. And according to their lawyer, it was legally okay for me to write an ad talking about the company. So the purpose of the ad was to generate an enormous amount of interest from people who would want to invest in the company after it had filed with the SEC and the stock was available for trading. In other words, I was hired to make this company a sensation among investors just before it was to get off the ground.

I did an enormous amount of research before I started writing the ad. I learned so much about water from the scientist, Carl Palmer, it literally astonished me.

You should also know Seychelle's lawyer vetted and okayed every single word of the ad.

Here Is The First Big Secret Of The Ad:

I want you to imagine you are at a very high class cocktail party in New York City. And a gorgeous young woman is there who is being courted by almost every man at the party. Each of them chat her up to the best of their ability. They are all trying to figure out what appeal they could use to attract her to them so they could establish a relationship with her.

One guy talks about his show business connections and how he could get her jobs as an actress in several different movies.

Another guy tells her that he represents models and she is so beautiful if they worked together, he could almost assure her she would be on the cover of almost every popular magazine in America.

Several other guys try to impress her with how much money they have. They talk about the companies they own, the yachts they have as play toys, the Ferraris, Lamborginies and Rolls Royces they drive, and how their wealth is so obscene, they and anybody connected with them, will never again have to worry about anything to do with money.

A couple guys are just drop-dead good looking and they try to attract her  with their wit, good looks and animal magnetism.

None of this seems to work on her very well.

Then a youngish, somewhat unattractive man walks over to her and whispers a few words in her ear. Her face brightens with a 1,000 megawatt smile she says "Yeah! Let's do it!" and she gets up and walks out of that party arm-in-arm with that lucky man.

What was the difference that made him successful while everyone else struck out? It's very simple: You see...

He Knew A Secret About Her...

He Knew She Had A Secret Desire!

And when you're trying to sell something there is no more powerful piece of ammunition you can have than to know someone's real deep-down core desires.

In this case, the young woman was a heroine addict. And this man recognized her as such.

What he whispered in her ear was simply, "Hey, look down here in my hand. I just scored some of the best smack in New York City. You want to get high with me?"

And, of course, she's up and out of the room like a rocket.

It's worth repeating: There is no more of an edge in marketing (and life)  than... knowing the hidden desires of the people you are trying to sell.

Each and every group of people... doctors, psychiatrists, policemen, mothers, plumbers, etc. have certain desires and knowledge that is not shared by other groups of people.

There's a couple books I would like to recommend to you. The first one is called "What Cops Know". It was written by a woman named Connie Fletcher and I think you can get it on Amazon. This woman interviewed 200 Chicago policemen and learned many of the secrets policemen know about people which is not common knowledge. For example, police know when someone is murdered, more than half the time, the person who committed the murder is the person who reported the murder to the police. When cops visit a murder scene, if the crime scene is especially gory and encompasses much of the apartment or house where the murder occurred, and there is blood and gore not only in the bedroom but also in the living room, kitchen, den, etc., they know the murder was likely committed by a homosexual. That's because when one homosexual kills another, it is usually because of an enormous amount of jealousy and rage and the object is not just to kill the other person, but to cause them as much pain and suffering as humanly possible.

Cops also know if they look in your medicine cabinet and find a common product Dermaplast you are probably a man who abuses his wife and children. That's because this is the cosmetic product most useful in hiding the bruises caused by abusive beatings.

If I had to market something to policemen, I would read this book before I wrote a single word because I would want to know as much about them as I could before I tried to market something to them.

The second book I'd like to recommend to you is the "Rice Diet Report" written by Judy Moscovitz. This book was written in 1986 and I think it gives more insight to the emotional problems and the "wiring" of overweight people than any other book ever written.

Why Am I Laboring On This So Long?

It has to do with the fact I know a lot about the people who read "Investors Business Daily."

Have you looked at the "Wall Street Journal" lately? It has become a "fat" publication with all kinds of articles that do not relate to investing. It's almost getting to the point where the publication should change it's name to the "Main Street Journal."

"Investors Business Daily" on the other hand is a "skinny" publication which concentrates on nothing except articles of interest to investors.

By the way, in almost every case a "skinny" publication will always outpull a "fat" one. Take any big city Sunday newspaper. They contain hundreds of pages and dozens of sections. Whenever I get a Sunday paper, it takes me about 10-minutes just to separate the sections into the ones I want to read and the ones I want to throw away. However, in many Sunday newspapers, there is a pull-out magazine called "Parade". "Parade" is one of the most expensive and profitable magazines to advertise in throughout the entire world. A lot of times when I buy the Sunday paper, I'm so overwhelmed by it, I just rummage through it until I find "Parade" and then I pull it out of the paper and throw the rest of the newspaper away. Millions of people do the same thing. It's almost impossible to write an ad and run it in "Parade" magazine and not make a profit.

By the way, just for your edification, if you have an ad which relates to something financial and you run it in the "Wall Street Journal" and then you run the same ad in "Investors Business Daily"... I am going to bet you that you will make at least 700% more profit from the "IBD" ad than you did from the "WSJ". A few years ago, I used to run an ad about once every two months in "IBD". It was a 1-column ad which cost me about $700 and it was typical for that $700 ad to fetch $40,000 to $50,000 in sales.

A lot of you who made guesses said you thought one of the secrets of the success of the water ad was the fact I ran it in "IBD" and the readers of that publication were extremely greedy. That is sorta true but it is not precisely true.

What the readers of "Investors Business Daily" want more than anything else is...


They Want An Edge!

 

They are looking for an "edge" which will give them a leg up on the rest of the investment community. They are struggling to be first to discover hot new facts which will make their investments more profitable. You might think the fact it is more precise to say those investors are looking for an edge as opposed to simply being greedy is not very important. You might think (erroneously) it's pretty much the same thing. It is not. It is a subtle... but very, very important... distinction.

So I started out with an enormous advantage. I decided to run the ad in "IBD" and I knew the true deep down secret of their readers.

Remember the real goal of the ad was to make investors interested in investing in Seychelle Technologies. The real goal of the ad was NOT to sell water bottles. But the trick was to do this in a very Machiavellian way which made those readers ravenous to invest in a company of whose existence they were unaware until they got to the end of the ad.

Now we're going to go over this ad piece by piece and I'm going to allow you to see into my mind and what I was thinking as I wrote every part of the ad.

(Note: My Comments in Blue)

 

WARNING: Do Not Read This

Unless You Are Already Rich!

 



Since this ad was placed in "IBD" there isn't a reader of that publication who wouldn't be sucked in so fast, it would put an advanced Hoover to shame. I believe of all the headlines I have ever written, this is the most impossible one to ignore. In fact, I honestly believe if this headline were ran in ANY publication it would get enormous readership.
If you would like to know how someone can start with a simple idea... and then... generate over $51,000,000 in sales in just one year... this is going to be the most interesting message you will ever read.

 

This is a staple opening for me. I use it over and over because it's a reliable winner. What reader of "IBD" would not want to know how to make $51,000,000 in sales in just one year? I've already got them glued to my message.

 

Here is why: There's a guy in California named Carl Palmer who, until recently, was very wealthy and very bored. He got rich (the first time) by starting a company in 1970 which he sold out to Coca-Cola just three years later in 1973. As part of the deal, he had to sign a "non-compete" agreement with a duration of five years.

After that five years ended, he went back in business and built up another company which was soon acquired by the giant AMF Corporation. After that, Carl developed Shaklee's reverse osmosis home water filtration system... and... in the first year... they did $51 million in sales with that product.


Carl Palmer is now the "star" of this story. He's somebody all the readers can identify with. Somebody that "humanizes" this copy.

 

And so on.

You get the idea. What this guy does is, he comes up with enormously valuable inventions, starts a company to sell those inventions... and soon... he goes nuts with all the hassles of running a business... and so... he sells out (at a huge profit) to some giant corporation that has the resources and the clout to exploit the living daylights out of whatever it is he has invented.

But now, he has outdone himself. Now, at the request of the Seychelle Technologies, Inc., he has invented something that is needed by every human being in the world... and...


This Invention Is Almost

Certain To Generate Billions In Sales!


This is a HUGE attention getting subhead. It begins to lead them on the "double readership path".

 

Here's how he came up with his latest invention. He's got a horse ranch somewhere near Pomona, California and one day he was out riding one of his horses... and... he was bored to tears! You see, this guy has a mind that just won't quit. So, he gets to wondering: "What would be the world's best product to develop? Is there anything that every human being on earth must have?"

Yes, there is. It's called water. It's tasteless, odorless, colorless and calorie-free... but... it is vital to all life on earth. It doesn't matter if you are a dog, a cat, a human being, an elephant or a mere microbe, water is essential. And there is no substitute. There are more than five billion people on this planet and every single one of those people needs about 2-1/2 quarts of water... every day... to keep healthy and stay alive.

 

Now we've got a logical hinge. After all, what is the most precious commodity in the world? Outside of air, it has to be water. What is the ONE thing every single human being needs? It's water. This is logical. This makes the prospect's mind say "YES!" I've got the readers nodding their heads "YES!" early in this piece. As I'm sure you know this is very, very important. I've got their undivided attention... plus... I've backed up the huge claim in the subhead above about generating billions in sales.

 

No water, no life.

But, so what? There's more water on earth than there is earth, right? Yes, that's true.


I'm countering a huge objection/question in the mind of the prospect now. I'm reading his mind and therefore building loads of rapport.

 

However, 97% of all that water is sea water. And sea water, of course, is just chock full of salt. Anyone who drinks only sea water will soon die of thirst and dehydration as that person's body tries desperately to flush out all that excess salt. Of course, we humans can use sea water... if... we remove the salt. But, that is very expensive!

 

I'm stating a problem... and... I'm also aggravating that problem.

 

Sea water is not a good choice for agriculture or industry either. It kills most crops and literally (and very quickly) rusts out most machinery.


Yep, I've just illuminated another problem.

 

In truth, only a mere 3% of the world's water is fresh, not salty. But, almost all of that fresh water is locked up in glaciers and ice caps or is deep underground. Which means...

Only A Measly 1% Of All The Water

On This Planet Is Easily Accessible To Mankind!

 

And, much of that water is so polluted it is killing thousands upon thousands of people every day... plus... it is making millions of us horribly sick.

 

That truly sucks, doesn't it? Now I'm upsetting the readers. I'm illuminating a situation which is getting worse and worse and worse... and... I've got them worrying about their OWN health.

 

Do you own a house? If so, go down into your basement with a hacksaw and cut off about an inch of one of your water pipes. Then, get yourself a strong flashlight and take a careful look at the inside of that water pipe. Guess what? Chances are, what you are looking at is NOT going to be pretty. Rust... Sediment... Lead... Dirt... Little flecks of animate matter such as rodent feces... Chlorine... Mercury... and... all sorts of other junk that is really bad news when you put it into your body.

You mean the reader is drinking rodent feces? That truly sucks, doesn't it? I've made this problem real to everybody with the question "Do you own a house?" Who the heck doesn't own a home, or live in a home, right? So this is everybody... and... with total precision, I have described the toxic scum the readers are going to find in their water pipes. So now what I've done is illuminated why each and every person in the civilized world has a water supply which is incredibly toxic. I've told them why... when it comes to water... everyone else is totally screwed. I haven't pulled any punches. I've agitated the problem superbly.

 

Think about what this means: Even if the city where you live does a perfect job (it doesn't; it doesn't even come close) of purifying your water supply...

Your Water, After Traveling Through Several Miles Of Pipes,

Is Still Likely To Have Lots Of Horrible Stuff In It

When It Comes Out Of Your Faucet!

 

I'm restating the same message as above... but... from a different angle. I'm building different pictures in the prospect's mind. This heightens the emotional intensity in the prospect.

 

But, very likely, your city simply can't do a perfect job of cleaning up your water supply. The problem is just too overwhelming. So, what they do is, they dump chlorine in the water! Which, in a way, is good... because... chlorine kills a lot of those nasty, disease-causing bugs in the water. But hey, you know why it is able to kill all those bugs? It's very simple...


I'm reading the prospect's mind here. He doesn't know it but I'm building up loads and loads of rapport with him? Why, because I've entered his train of thought. I've raised objections at the exact same time he raised those same objections in his own mind. And I've addressed those issues at the exact same time I've got him thinking about them.

Also what I'm doing with all these problems I'm writing about is eliminating the competition. This is an important click on the dial of a good copywriter. This pays huge dividends later when you offer the solution. The effect this is going to have in the mind of the prospect is that MY solution is the ONLY solution. 

 

It's Because Chlorine Is Poison!

That's why most U.S. citizens have fewer cavities in their teeth these days: It's because the chlorine in our drinking water kills those little organic microbes that eat away at the enamel on our teeth. However, using a poison like chlorine to kill the "bad guy" microbes is sort of like undergoing chemotherapy when you have cancer. In other words, not only do the cancer cells get zapped; many of your non-cancerous cells also get zapped... and often... your hair falls out, you get extremely tired and your zest for life is considerably diminished.


I'm posing even more problems. Awesome problems. My reader's internal state feels like shit now. By now he's wondering if there's any hope for him. He's mentally dying for a solution.

 

Speaking of cancer, there are five different articles in certified publications from the EPA, Massachusetts General Hospital, University of Alabama, University of Georgia, and the University of Florida that all prove...

Drinking Chlorinated Water

Increases Your Chances Of

Dying From Cancer By 44%!

Plus, it has all kinds of other bad (horribly bad) effects on your health.


Didn't you just love that bit about chlorine? And isn't that analogy I drew about cancer and chemo pure genius? I've got an image already popped up in the prospect's mind of losing hair, losing weight, and looking sickly from the chemo. Not a pretty sight. Brutal!

Not only that, I've introduced statistics! But not just any stats.... reputable stats from the EPA and reputable university. This is "gospel" now.

 

But wait! Don't go getting angry at your municipal water company. They are very likely doing the best job they can considering the huge problems they are trying to solve. Yes, it's true: Chlorine is bad for you. But, the "bad guys" that would otherwise still be alive in our water supply... if... it wasn't chlorinated... is truly the stuff of which nightmares are made.

 

When you start talking about E-coli, omoebic cysts, cryptosporidium, giordia and so on, you are talking about "biological villains" that cause...

Health Problems You Don't Even Want To Know About!


Big scientific technological  words that ooze creditability. I'm establishing myself as an expert on this subject. Throughout this entire ad, I sound like I am "THE" authority on this subject. 

 

Again, chlorine is like chemotherapy: It's the lesser of two evils. In truth, any way you look at it, it's still a terrible situation.


I'm answering the question that no doubt the prospect has in his mind: "Why use chlorine?" This is rather clever on my part. Why? Because I certainly do NOT want the reader to get to the end of this ad with questions left unanswered in his mind. That would massively cut response.

 

So, what's the answer? Well, millions of Americans now have water filtration devices in their homes... and... that does solve part of the problem. However, when Carl Palmer was doing his research, he discovered 50% to 60% of all the water we drink in our lifetime...

Is Water We Drink Away From Home!

I've just knocked out another competitor: Water filtration systems. How? By telling the reader the all important statistic the majority of the water we drink is actually away from our own home. I figure at this stage of the ad, the reader is thinking about filters. But my copy slams them! I was reading their mind with the precision of a Swiss watch. 

 

It's no wonder the bottled water industry is such a big business. How big is it? I'm glad you asked. Just in the United States alone, the annual sales volume of bottled water... is more... than... 4.2 billion dollars!

I'm establishing context here. I'm whetting the prospect's appetite with such huge numbers. This will pay enormous dividends later when I introduce the investment opportunity.

Plus, it backs up my earlier claim about the potential of billions in sales with this invention.

 

But, there's a couple of problems with bottled water: (1) First, there are about 350 different brands and not all of them are selling good water. Some of it is as bad as plain old ordinary tap water. Some of it is worse. In fact, some of it is ordinary tap water. What a racket: Fill a plastic bottle with water from a faucet... and then... sell it at a 2,000% markup! (2) Secondly, whether it's good or bad, all bottled water is expensive.

For example, in Miami Beach at a local convenience store, an 11-ounce bottle of Perrier sells for $1.40. If you bother to do the math, you'll discover this works out to $16.29 per gallon. Actually, because Miami Beach is a resort area and Perrier is one of the more costlier brands of bottled water, this per gallon price is higher than average. However, even in non-resort areas, the usual average price for bottled water is still very high, like maybe $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon.


And now I've knocked out the final competitor: Bottled water. But I've kept the problems coming. By this stage, I've got my reader dying to hear a solution to all of this.

 

Plus, almost every American who buys bottled water buys a lot of it. I mean really a lot! Let's face it: You need water every day. And, if you exercise, you need even more than other people. That's why many health-conscious Americans...

Spend More Than $1,600 Per Year

Just On Bottled Water!


My goal here is to piss off the reader and give him the first hint that maybe there's a huge money-making opportunity here. I'm telling them how they are getting fleeced whenever they purchase bottled water. In essence, I'm stating yet another problem! By now, not only are they plenty pissed off... I've also established the market-size to the prospect. I've proven Americans spend a lot on water! Finally, I've induced an interesting statistic. Holy Shit! Now I've got my reader glued to this ad as Bill Clinton was whenever he was looking at a sexy available female.

Actually by now, I've weaved so much factual information into this ad, stuff that people did NOT know before... this is now something all the readers will be talking about with their friends and relatives around the water cooler and in other social settings.

 

But now, let's talk about something truly exciting. Imagine you go to a store and you buy yourself a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or any other brand of bottled water. Then, you drink the water from that bottle... but... instead of throwing the bottle away and going to the store to get another one... you fill up that empty bottle with water from your faucet... or... from a lake... or... from a river... or... even from a public swimming pool! Next, you put the cap back on the bottle... and... because that cap has an incredibly effective filter on the bottom of it, the water that now comes out of the bottle will be equal to... or better (in taste and purity) than the water you originally purchased.

Only... you didn't have to buy it again!

Which means, instead of paying $7.00 or $8.00 per gallon for bottled water (that is NOT even guaranteed to be pure) you end up getting water that IS guaranteed pure for mere pennies per gallon.

Plus, you don't have to run back to the store whenever you need more water.

Plus, you can take your bottle with its new, space-age, magic filter bottle cap... anywhere you go... even Mexico... and you will always have an endless supply of the purest water you can drink.


Oh, thank God! I've offered a solution! I've given them the "magic pill". The way I described it, the cap is the ultimate solution to this water problem. Think about it: Now they know they can use almost any water source and get clear, clean, healthy water. By the way, wasn't the words "even Mexico" a pure Halbert touch of genius?

 

Sounds like a dream, doesn't it? Well, because of what Carl Palmer has developed for Seychelle Technologies, it is now a dream come true. You see, Carl is the inventor of the reverse osmosis water filtration system which is what he sold to Coca-Cola, AMF and Shaklee. But, that's what Carl invented 27 years ago. It's still a very effective water filtration system and it's still in widespread use. However, the water filtration system Carl has now invented exclusively for Seychelle Technologies... is... leap years ahead... of any other system on the market... including... the one he personally invented 27 years ago.

First up, Carl has credibility by association because he sold out to Coca-Cola. However, that was 27-years ago. By implication though, if Coke bought the original product, you've got to assume it was state-of-the-art. A wonderful product. After all, Coca-Cola is not a mom-and-pop business. This new product then must be absolutely first-rate. But I don't say any of this outright. I simply IMPLY it so vividly they cannot help but picture the truth of it in their own mind. I've seduced the reader ever so delicately and let him form the logical connection in his own mind. This is FAR more powerful than me saying it directly.

 

One of the reasons Carl was able to create this amazing new filter is, he owns the world distribution rights to something called "sorbent media"... which... it turns out... is very likely to be the best water filtration material on this planet. One of the reasons is, it has a "pore size" of only two microns (many water filters have a pore size of 50 to 100 microns) which means that a much higher percentage of the toxic "bad guys" can't get through the filter.

Another "reason why". Critical when you're attempting to write powerful copy.

 

Plus, this material is so thin, if you would unravel the amount of it compressed into this tiny, new, super-effective filter...

It Would Cover A Surface Area

Of 15,000 Square Feet!

What an impressive number! A true "WOW!" factor! Keeps them riveted to my ad. They've gone from being interested... to being absolutely fascinated.

 

This filter also has ionic properties... which means... it has the ability to chemically bond to volatile organic compounds often found in polluted water. In other words, it just reaches out and grabs them (they're another breed of disgusting "toxic villains") and holds them to the surface of the filter.


Holy Shit! We're talking about a miracle invention here!

 

The bottom-line: Water passed through this filter is equal to... or even better... than the water found in any bottled water you can buy anywhere in the world.

Huge benefit statement.

 

The second bottom-line: Because of the unique materials used to create this filter, it can be miniaturized to the size of a walnut and still purify an enormous amount of water. So, what Seychelle Technologies now has ready to market is not water, it's a water bottle that purifies water. It's plastic. About the same size as a bottle of Avian, Perrier, Arrowhead or what have you... but... the difference is... the cap that goes on the bottle has an amazing ionic microfiltration device (it's a major trade secret) attached to the bottom of it... and... a small plastic straw going up through the top of the cap.

I'm now romanticizing this lid. I've left the reader no doubt in his mind whatsoever we're talking about a major trade secret. 

 

Fill the bottle with water (from almost any source), screw on the cap... and then... you can sip through the straw... and drink safe water from any location on earth!

The ultimate magic pill.

 

This space-age water bottle retails for $29.95 and it will purify so much water...

You Can Refill It

More Than 1,000 Times!

To get that same amount of pure water (assuming it is pure) by purchasing bottled water, you would have to spend approximately $1,700.00!

Plus, you'd have to keep going back to the store over and over.

The reader is now thinking, "I want this! I want this! I want this!"

 

This invention saves lives! It has the potential of eradicating a significant percentage of human health problems. It is now being introduced on an emergency basis in Mexico, Argentina, China, Malaysia, Korea, India, and 11 other countries... and... some very private market research indicates that in 1998...

This Product Is Literally

Going To Swamp The U.S. Market!

Many readers will be salivating now. I've not only appealed to the altruistic part of their personality, I've also given them numbers and described a profit potential they can make... while at the same time... saving lives. What you just read caused a HUGE bump on this ad. Because of just that one paragraph above. 

 

Carl Palmer is extremely passionate about this invention.... because... as stated earlier... it can save lives and prevent an enormous amount of human misery. That's why he has chosen to work exclusively with Seychelle Technologies who... in turn... have agreed not to become involved with any other projects... so... they can focus 100% on the production and marketing of this one item!


This gives Carl integrity and even more credibility.

 

Seychelle Technologies (located at 1920 Main Street, Suite 1020, Irvine, California 92614) has enormous growth potential. They are passionately committed to producing and marketing Carl Palmer's amazing new invention... as fast... as their financing will allow them to expand! If you would like to have more information on this exciting company, you are welcome to call and leave your name and address with one of the secretaries at Seychelle Technologies.

When you do that, you will be sent immediately (and free of charge) a video tape that features Carl Palmer explaining his invention... and... another man, DuSean Berkich (CEO of Seychelle Technologies) giving an overview of the company and its plans for expansion. Here's the number:

1-800-000-0000


By now I've got them dialing that 800 number as fast as their pudgy little fingers can move.

 

-------END OF AD-------

 

We received hundreds and hundreds of telephone calls from people wanting the two video tapes. I answered many of those phone calls myself. The people were almost hysterical to get in on this opportunity. They were practically screaming into the phone, "Listen to me. I'm an accredited investor. I can put 10 to 15 million dollars into this deal without breaking a sweat." Call after call came in of that nature.

Unfortunately, they CEO of Seychelle Technologies had no idea he was dealing with the "Wonder Kid Of Marketing", Sir Gary of Halbert, who can generate response like no one else in the world. Only a fraction of the calls got answered. They did not have the videos ready to send out. They did not have a follow-up response in place. Basically, when the phones started ringing off the hook, everybody at Seychelle Technologies... except me of course... was stunned.

They tried to gear up (very clumsily I might add) for what would happen if we ran the ad a second time.

They did run the ad a second time... with approximately the same results. And Seychelle still was not ready. They still could not answer all the phone calls. They still didn't have the videos to send out to the prospects.

 By this time I was sickened. I do not know for sure but a very educated guess I got by working the phones myself was that this ad could have generated four hundred million dollars in investor funding. Here I had a product to promote which was needed by every human on earth and could save millions of lives. And I had worked my ass off creating a masterpiece ad to promote that product. For a group of executives of Seychelle Technologies who, as it turned out, couldn't walk across the room without stepping on their dicks.

But, there's a lot more to this story.

As it turned out Seychelle's CEO (DuSean Berkich) was a master con man.

Later, when he was investigated by a detective agency, it turned out he had left a trail of financially-devastated people all across the United States. He had been doing this continuously for the last 30-years.

He was NOT interested in promoting this miraculous invention. Not really. All he was interested in was the "quick kill".

He cheated everyone he dealt with. He cheated the people who brought him this idea. He cheated Carl Palmer. He cheated the ENTIRE WORLD by not arranging it so this product became a success. All he was interested in was taking the company public and then scarfing off his stock profits as soon as possible. He is very close to being the most despicable human being I've ever encountered. 

I told him I was pulling out of the project. By then he knew I was so valuable to the operation, he offered me an honest-to-God one million dollars to stay with Seychelle. I refused. But then he made a monster mistake.

You see, DuSean Berkich was a pure-bred sociopath. He had no compassion for other people whatsoever. And without knowing how I would react to it, he screwed two of my best friends in an exceptionally cruel fashion.

One of them was a girl I had met in Miami Beach. Her name was Kari Cherine and I had gotten her a job working with DuSean as a secretary. Then one day, just about a week before Christmas he unceremoniously fired her for no valid reason whatsoever. Truthfully I suspect the man was a closet homosexual and that exceptionally beautiful women had a tendency to enrage him.

Another of my best friends was one of the guys who put this deal together. DuSean cut him out of any part of the potential profits.

DuSean also screwed Carl Palmer the inventor of the water cap.

So I went to the office one last time and I told DuSean I wanted to have a private conversation with him. What I told him is I was going to destroy both him and his company and I was going to do it immediately and he would never know how it happened.

Four days later, Seychelle Technologies collapsed.

If you know much about investing, you know when you are forming an IPO you go on a road trip to raise start-up money. DuSean already had his road trip people in Switzerland, France, all over Europe and the United States. They had been sent there to talk with potential investors. Guess what?

Whenever they walked into a building to talk with a potential investor, one of the assistants in that building would meet them and tell them, "Mr. So and So is not going to meet with you. He is never going to meet with you. And I'm to tell you that you are never welcome on these premises. There is to be no further discussion." Then the road trip representative was unceremoniously ushered out of the building.

And for some reason, all the giant retailers like K-Mart, Wal-Mart, etc. were no longer interested in doing any type of business whatsoever with Seychelle Technologies.

I also told DuSean in that private meeting that not only was I going to destroy him and his company but I was going to haunt him for the rest of his days and he was never going to be able to bilk anyone else.

As it played out, DuSean kept trying to put small scams together in the United States. For "mysterious reasons" nothing seemed to work out for him.

Finally he moved to an offshore location. I got his telephone number and I called him. I checked the time differences between the United States and his offshore location and I made sure the call would arrive at night when he was asleep so it would be picked up by his answering machine. Then I spoke for a few minutes into his answering machine and hung up laughing.

I'm not going to tell you what I said. But I will guarantee you DuSean has never enjoyed 10-minutes of peace of mind since that telephone call.

About 1-1/2 years ago, I got a call from someone who knew DuSean Berkich. We exchanged stories about what an evil and despicable being he was. The reason this man called me was to tell me DuSean had committed suicide. But there was something strange. It seems his body was cremated almost immediately after his death and his lawyer and no one else could come up with a death certificate. 

I don't know whether DuSean Berkich is dead or not. I am not one to rejoice in anyone's death... no matter how evil they are. But I must admit, if I knew for certain DuSean Berkich was indeed deceased, I would shed nary a tear.

I wonder if he's had plastic surgery to change his appearance and is running around damaging more people. If he is, I'd love to know about it. I think if Mr. Berkich is still alive... and you would arrange to put him in a room with me... I wouldn't have to say a single word in order for you to see all the blood drain out of his face and watch him go into convulsions.

One thing about DuSean Berkich: He has a personality trait very typical of con men. Believe it or not, most con men will walk around a honest one hundred million dollars in order to dishonestly scam someone out of a far lesser amount. The "scam" is far more important to them than the money. They get off by destroying people much more than they do by making a legitimate profit.

In case you think I'm being harsh, I think you should know not only did he milk millions of dollars out of people, he was abusive to his wife and children (who by the way attempted suicide while I was in California) and he was indeed a "cancer" on the people of the earth.

What about Carl Palmer? I spent a lot of time with him. He's brilliant. He's a genius. I think he knows more about water filtration than anyone else on earth. He also had (at the time... and maybe still does) a very attractive young wife. He had the arrogance that often comes along with genius. Sometimes I think he was actually silly enough to think he was shaper than me.

I believe Carl Palmer, by default, inherited the stewardship of Seychelle Technologies.

Should you invest in this company? Their symbol is SYEV. Absolutely you should NOT!

SYEV now hardly qualifies for even being a penny stock. It is now sold through what's called the "pink sheets". On some days, it hardly trades at all. Technically although Seychelle is a publicly traded company, there are 22,541,406 outstanding shares of stock. The "float" is only 2,979,820 shares. The rest of the shares, I believe, are owned by a couple of scam artists in the Aspen, Colorado area who would probably dump all the shares on the market the instant it started to rise.

I have enormous respect for Carl Palmer. I think he is a man whose work has massive benefits for mankind. However, I suspect he has a couple of fatal flaws which enable him to be sucked into business situations with unsavory, dishonest people.

The first flaw, at least in my belief, is he has no business savvy whatsoever. He's sorta like me. What I mean is, he's so brilliant at what he does... he's able to get by financially... in spite of making horrible business decisions and blunders.

The second thing I believe is because of his business experience with Shaklee he has been infected with the "MLM Bug". Nowadays, when I discover someone has contracted the "MLM Virus" I don't even try to talk or reason with them. It's like trying to convince a Jew he should convert to Christianity or vice versa. It's like trying to convince a pro-lifer to be pro-choice or vice versa.

I have an image of Carl in my mind. It's rather sad. I picture him at home in California with his beautiful wife, running a tiny Mickey Mouse operation, eking out sales of his miraculous inventions. And trying to cope with the responsibilities of being the major executive of a pathetically crippled public company.

And think about this: Think about the invention this man created. Think of how valuable the invention would have been to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Think of how valuable that invention would be to all the people who live in Africa. Did you know bad water is responsible for the death of more human beings than anything else in the world?

To put this in context, another thing you need to know is I wrote this ad in 1997. That was at the height of the "dotcom" and IPO boom. Everybody was in a frenzy to get in on the next hot IPO. People's thinking was completely upside down. They believed the more debt a company had, the better the company. They invested millions of dollars in companies which didn't even exist... except for maybe a cubby-hole office. They invested millions of dollars in companies which existed on nothing but an idea, such as an imagined invention which would triple the gas mileage of motor vehicles.

What Carl Palmer probably never realized is that with his invention, he really didn't need a multi-level marketing organization to sell a jillion of them. He also didn't need a public company like Seychelle Technologies. All Carl really needed was a very modest amount of money and a marketing genius to promote his product.

Well, Carl got the marketing genius and he could easily have gotten the money. But like millions of other people in 1997, I think he was a bit "crazed" by the possibility of participating in a hot IPO.

His mind had already (in my opinion) been irreparably damaged by his experience with a MLM organization.

You know, I actually don't know how to end this newsletter. I do know it's a shame everybody in the world doesn't have Carl's remarkable invention. Every word I wrote about it was true. But, I suspect it's never going to happen. I may be wrong but it's my opinion that Carl Palmer is now too damaged to deal with in a sane businesslike way. I also think DuSean Berkich has twisted up Carl's life so thoroughly, it's possible it may never be untangled.

Maybe I'm wrong about all this. Maybe somehow there will be a happy ending. 

 

  Sincerely,
 
  Gary C. Halbert





P.S.
One more thing, I received an excellent analysis of the water ad by a guy named Alexi. I don't know his last name but I want to acknowledge I used a lot of what he had written in his explanation of why this ad worked. And I used a lot of it word-for-word. I don't know who this guy is but, he's a plenty sharp guy.

 

P.S.#2 Here's something which confuses me: You know when someone with money reads an ad like this written by me or some of the other ads I have written and published on my website, I absolutely cannot comprehend why they don't call me first if they need a piece of copy written. I mean honestly, do you think any other copywriter (living or dead) could even approach my sheer genius? In all modesty, I simply can't understand how anyone could escape the fact I am truly the best who ever lived.

 

P.S.#3 At the very least, don't you think you should email me and tell me how much you appreciate me giving you an incredible marketing education like this... which... you couldn't get from anyone else on the planet?!

 

Peace.

 

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